Everyone loves to love, wouldn’t you agree? The thing is, however, that not a lot of people dare to do so. This is because we are naturally afraid of rejection. People also wish to avoid feelings of hurt or anger, while most are worried about being cheated on.
While our fears may manifest themselves in different ways that are not too obvious to spot at the beginning of our relationship, these can pile up and become visible as time goes on.
Keep on reading and discover why you are so afraid to love, or what’s been holding you back from starting a new relationship + how to overcome and conquer these fears.
Top 7 reasons why are we afraid to love
1. The feeling of vulnerability
A new relationship is for most people a scary thing since it is an uncharted field & unexplored territory. Everyone is scared of the unknown, which is why you shouldn’t jump into a relationship with a complete stranger, but rather with someone that’s a close friend.
Oftentimes we tend to lean on the other person and we rely on their presence in hopes that they can lift us up and deal with our issues, even when we can’t. This is why we place a lot of trust in one person only, which further leads to possible vulnerability if they don’t accept us.
2. Brings back the old hurt
When we enter into a new relationship most of us will compare it to our old one, which is normal and natural. However, if you were hurt or cheated on, this will also bring out the trauma which you will have to deal with during your new relationship.
Old, negative dynamics may make us wary of opening ourselves up to someone new. This territory is a tricky one since no one wants to handle an unstable partner, which is why it is essential for you to work out your problems as time goes on.
3. It challenges you
Many of us struggle with getting out of our comfort zone. Our inner voice can also get to us and make us feel anxious at every given moment. As adults, we struggle with loads of new challenges on a daily, plenty of them possibly feeling like a burden.
It is up to you to overcome them & stay open for new positive things with your partner. You should stop being defensive or controlling, and start to explore new & fun ways with your new boyfriend or girlfriend while slowly letting the guard down.
4. You will feel pain
Any time we fully experience true joy there is that fear of losing it and having to deal with some more negativity & drama. Sure, every relationship does have its ups and downs, and there is a chance for sadness as well. However, you will never experience the good without the bad. It is up to you to cherish & embrace every moment.
You should be open to any option or possibility. No reason to do it halfway through, you need to do it with your whole heart. Once you experience all the emotions you will learn how to control them.
5. The fear of inequality
Oftentimes love is not equal. One person usually cares & loves more than the other. A lot of worries that their feelings wouldn’t evolve as the relationship continues, which is why they don’t bother giving it a go in the first place. This is because we can feel anger, irritation, or even hate for a person we love, and we are afraid of the vice versa scenario, since who wants to feel any type of negativity?
However, no relationship is perfect, which is why you should know that everyone is a unique story within themselves. As long as you give it your all and you are invested in it you will feel great about it, don’t overthink what the other person is feeling.
6. Can get in a way between you & your family
Relationships can be the ultimate symbol of growing up & letting yourself grow into something new. This step is also often linked to the feeling of growth and parting from your family. A lot of us will need to do this sooner or later.
Starting your own journey and growing on your own or within a relationship is a reasonable thing to happen. This means that you should be prepared for separating from them in a physical and emotional way. It does sound scary, but it does help with your character development.
7. Existential crises & fear
Last, but not least: the more we have, the more we have to lose. Once you are truly in it with someone you start to think about all the possible scenarios and outcomes. You plan out your future & think about the rest of your life. Our life now holds more value and meaning, so the thought of losing that someone new & ourselves is frightening.
Getting to know our fears of intimacy and how they inform our behavior is an important step to a healthy outcome. These fears are planted in our heads as a form of self-sabotage that we feel as we get close to someone new, but you shouldn’t let them consume you.
What to do about it and how to find love?
If you are nervous about finding love or if you are too shy – why not consider online dating? With this approach, you can easily implement all of these seven steps and work out your love issues as time goes on.
Through these platforms, both men and women can find their ideal partner that ticks their boxes while meeting all the criteria. It is also a quick & easy way for you to meet new people. If you are interested in chatting and getting to know someone make sure that you check out https://meetville.com/catalog/ca/01/6278/woman